Guide
How do you start family worship?
Start family worship by gathering everyone at one set time each day for about ten minutes. Read a short Bible passage aloud, ask one simple question about it, pray, and sing one psalm or hymn. Keep it short, plain and regular. Faithfulness over many ordinary evenings matters far more than any single night going well.
What is family worship?
Family worship is a household gathering, usually daily, in which parents lead their children in hearing God’s Word, praying and singing praise. It is short and simple. It does not replace the Lord’s Day worship of the church. It sits alongside it and prepares children to take part in it.
The practice is old. In 1647 the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, meeting at Edinburgh, approved a short Directory for Family Worship to guide households. You do not need to read it before you begin.
What are the parts of family worship?
Family worship has three classic parts: reading the Bible, praying, and singing. The 1647 Directory names “Prayer and praises” first, then “Reading of the scriptures, with catechising in a plain way” (Directory for Family Worship, 1647, Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland text).
Reading the Bible
Read a short passage aloud, about 5 to 15 verses. Work straight through one book rather than hopping around. Mark, Genesis and the Psalms are good first books. After reading, ask one question a child can answer from what they just heard.
Prayer
Pray briefly and in plain words. Praise God for something in the passage, confess sin, thank him for the day, and ask for help for the people you love. If praying aloud makes you nervous, the Directory itself allows that those who are weaker “may begin at a set form of prayer.” Writing a few lines in advance is a fine start.
Singing
Sing one psalm or hymn, the same one for a week or more, so the children learn it by heart. Families in churches that sing only psalms will choose a psalm. Others may choose a psalm or a hymn. The guide singing psalms and hymns at home explains both practices and how to sing when nobody feels musical.
What does a 10-minute family worship look like?
A 10-minute family worship is a call to worship, a Bible reading with one question, a catechism question, a prayer and a song. The order below fits at the end of supper or just before bed. Keep the same order every night so the children know what comes next.
| Minutes | What you do | What it sounds like |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 1 | Gather and quiet down | “Bibles, everyone. Let’s worship God.” |
| 1 to 4 | Read the passage | One parent reads 5 to 15 verses aloud. |
| 4 to 5 | Ask one question | “Who did Jesus help in this story?” |
| 5 to 6 | Catechism question | Parent asks, children answer, twice. |
| 6 to 8 | Pray | Praise, confession, thanks, requests. |
| 8 to 10 | Sing | One psalm or hymn, same one all week. |
For the catechism question, use the weekly catechism schedule: one new question a week with a short daily step. Young children can start with the Catechism for Young Children, older readers with the Westminster Shorter Catechism.
What do you say on the first night?
On the first night, tell the children plainly what you are doing and why, then walk through the order once. Do not give a speech. The script below takes about ten minutes and can be read straight from your phone.
Gather: “From tonight, our family is going to worship God together every evening. It will be short. We will read the Bible, learn a question, pray and sing.”
Read: “Tonight we start at the beginning.” Read Genesis 1:1-5 aloud.
Ask: “What did God make on the very first day?” (Light.) “Who made the light?” (God.)
Catechism: “Here is our question for the week. What is the chief end of man?” Then teach the answer: “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” Say it together twice. (This is Westminster Shorter Catechism question 1. With little ones, use Catechism for Young Children question 1: “Who made you?” “God.”)
Pray: “Lord God, you made the light and you made us. Thank you for this day and for each person here. Forgive us for the wrong things we did today. Help us to love you and to love each other. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Sing: Sing one verse of a psalm or hymn you already know. “We will sing this one every night this week.”
Close: “That’s family worship. We’ll do it again tomorrow.”
What if family worship goes badly?
When family worship goes badly, finish it short, keep your voice calm, and come back the next night. Children fidget, babies cry, teenagers sigh and parents get tired. None of that means the practice has failed. The aim is a habit kept over years, and a rough night is part of every habit.
Some practical fixes:
- Children won’t sit still. Shorten the reading. Let small children hold something quiet. Aim for listening; stillness comes with time.
- Someone is disruptive. Deal with it briefly, without a lecture, and carry on. Save longer correction for after worship.
- You missed several days. Start again tonight. Do not try to make up the readings.
- It feels flat. Ask better single questions, sing a song the children like, or read a narrative book next.
- The schedule fights you. Move the time. After supper is often easier than bedtime because everyone is already at the table.
Who should lead family worship, the father or the mother?
The 1647 Directory gives the ordinary leading of family worship to “the head of the family,” and it speaks of that head as “the master of the family” and “he” (Directory for Family Worship). In homes that follow that pattern, the father leads the evening gathering when he is home, and both parents share the work of teaching the children.
In practice the work divides well. A father can lead the evening reading, prayer and song even when he is not a confident reader or singer. A mother often carries much of the daytime teaching: catechism review at breakfast, songs in the car, Bible stories at lunch. Children see both parents take God’s Word seriously, which is the point.
Can a single parent lead family worship?
Yes. A single parent leads family worship in exactly the same way: one short reading, a prayer and a song, at a set time. It is still family worship, and it is no less real for being led by one parent.
Keep it shorter if you need to. Let older children read aloud or choose the song. Ask your elders or a family in your church to join you now and then, so your children hear other adults pray. On the hardest days, reading one psalm and praying the Lord’s Prayer together is enough.
How do you keep family worship going?
Keep family worship going by tying it to something that already happens every day, such as supper, and by keeping it small enough to do when tired. Leave the Bibles and a songbook where you eat. Choose the next reading the night before. Let the catechism schedule carry the teaching.
Where to go next
- Family worship with toddlers: a five-minute version for very young children.
- The weekly catechism schedule: one question a week, about ten minutes a day.
- Start here: how the rest of this library fits together.
Sources
- The Directory for Family Worship (Church of Scotland, 1647), Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland
Related guides
How do you do family worship with toddlers?
A five-minute family worship plan for toddlers: what little ones can do, sample orders for ages 1 to 2 and 3 to 4, and what to do with a baby in the room.
How do you sing psalms and hymns at home when nobody is musical?
How to sing at home when nobody is musical: choosing psalms and hymns, learning them by heart, and how psalm-only and hymn-singing churches differ.
What does a weekly catechism schedule look like?
A weekly catechism schedule: one question a week, ten minutes a day, with a script for each day, help for several ages and what to do after a missed week.